Adoption Through the Eyes of a Child --
Entering Your Child's World --
Twenty Things Your Adopted Child Wants You to Know --
"I Suffered a Profound Loss Before I Was Adopted. You Are Not Responsible." --
"I Need to Be Taught That I Have Special Needs Arising From Adoption Loss, of Which I Need Not Be Ashamed." --
"If I Don't Grieve My Loss, My Ability to Receive Love From You and Others Will Be Hindered." --
"My Unresolved Grief May Surface in Anger Toward You." --
"I Need Your Help in Grieving My Loss. Teach Me How to Get in Touch With My Feelings About My Adoption and Then Validate Them." --
"Just Because I Don't Talk About My Birth Family Doesn't Mean I Don't Think About Them." --
"I Want You to Take the Initiative in Opening Conversations About My Birth Family." --
"I Need to Know the Truth About My Conception, Birth, and Family History, No Matter How Painful the Details May Be." --
"I Am Afraid I Was 'Given Away' by My Birth Mother Because I Was a Bad Baby. I Need You to Help Me Dump My Toxic Shame." --
"I Am Afraid You Will Abandon Me." --
"I May Appear More 'Whole' Than I Actually Am. I Need Your Help to Uncover the Parts of Myself That I Keep Hidden So I Can Integrate All the Elements of My Identity." --
"I Need to Gain a Sense of Personal Power." --
"Please Don't Say I Look or Act Just Like You. I Need You to Acknowledge and Celebrate Our Differences." --
"Let Me Be My Own Person ... But Don't Let Me Cut Myself Off From You." --
"Please Respect My Privacy Regarding My Adoption. Don't Tell Other People Without My Consent."